Introduction
Conversation between parents and children remains fine when children’s are young. But as the children
grow up and from there onwards, sometimes lifelong, the discussions and conversations that take place
with the parents become increasingly less effective creating distance between parents and children. Due to this children’s often behave rudely which hurts their parents very much.
In reality both parents and children don’t like this situation. For the parents it’s a hurtful situation where
they start questioning their parenting, and for the children the situation is suffocating but find themselves
in a difficult situation to talk it out. What they are expecting is a healthy conversation where both sides
listen and understand each other and not just arguing.
So in this blog on parenting tips for parents we will talk about the things that children should pay
attention to while talking to their parents so that the conversation with them remains effective and without any argument or being rude to them. Welcome to parenting by Anshu and if you have not subscribed to this website yet then subscribe it now.
What Causes the Rift?
So in the growing age, generally the arguments that happen between parents and children are usually
about their career and their studies. Sometimes it is also related to their screen time, and their demand for a personal space. Children’s often feel that parents are unnecessarily interfering in their privacy. This also happens due to this reason many times there is a rift between the children regarding their free autonomy because the children want more freedom and the parents are not able to give them. Similar issues keep on increasing gradually and it becomes lifelong.
This happens because the values and beliefs of any parent and child are not the same, liking and disliking
are not the same, and because of this these arguments keep on going. In teenage or after becoming an
adult, everyone feels that they want some freedom. They don’t like the interference or stopping of parents in everything and when such a situation arises the argument is inevitable. However, the ultimate result is zero other than a compromised relationship between parents and their children.
How to Have a Fruitful Conversation
Why don’t we develop such skills so that whenever there is a discussion it is effective without being rude
and you can put your point across without making parents feel bad. For this, whenever you have to talk,
you should be a little bit prepared for it, which means you have some issue which you feel that if you tell
your parents they will not like it, they will refuse outright.
Suppose you are a teenager and your group of friends is going out somewhere and you need permission
from your parents to go with them. But you are afraid that if they refuse then you will not be able to go.
So go prepared when you are putting up the proposal in front of them. For example, what will you say to
them, what will be the effective words. Apart from that you will also have to see at what time you are
talking. Ideally, their mood should be good, there should be no stress of any kind. You should talk to
them when they are more receptive. Apart from that, you can also see who is more receptive among your
parents, i.e., listens to you comfortably. Mostly your mother listens or sometimes, even your father listens
better. So, first of all, you should go to those who listen to you properly. Once you gain their confidence,
they will then talk to their spouses as well. If they are on your side, your chances of getting the work done
become better. While talking, pay attention to your tone many times.
When any thing is said with ease, then the person who is receiving that thing does not have any problem,
but if you are saying the same thing disrespectfully or rudely, then parents feel bad about this and they
refuse to accept your point without understanding. So be careful about your tone, there should be honesty in it, there should be no lying or else once the trust is lost, then it will be very difficult to make your parents agree to anything later. So whenever you talk about something, talk about it openly, do not hide anything.
Speak up, maybe what you say is something that your parents may not like. If so, first listen to them
carefully and try to understand why they are saying this. When you understand what he is saying, then tell
them that you understand their concern and then give an explanation as to why you want to do this thing.
So whenever you have to talk to your parents about something that is confrontational and you feel that
they will refuse this thing or they will get angry on hearing this and will not give permission then first you
should prepare for how you can talk to them.
First, you will calm yourself down a little so that your tone does not get disturbed. You should also be
ready for listening. If they are saying something then you will listen to them and then put your point of
view. So when you want to do this, go to your parents and tell them that you want to talk about something which they may not like.
Request them to listen to you completely first and it is possible that if you initiate the parents will sit and
listen to you and understand you. But it is still possible that the parents may react and say something to
you. At that time you may not accept this thing. In such scenario you should stop and don’t prolong the
argument. Take a break and when everything cools down start that topic again.
Whenever there is a conversation, it should not go towards blame. Rather, when you want to make a
conversation start practicing and note down such sentences that may cause arguments. Read and
understand and also think what will be the reaction of the parents and prepare yourself for what will be
your answer. In this way you will see that the pressure on you will also be reduced and the conversation
will be better and effective.
The crux of this video is that you should not talk to your parents rudely or disrespectfully but rather make
it effective through proper communication. So that your work gets done and the parents do not feel bad
either.
I will come back with a new topic soon till then stay tuned and subscribe to my website parenting by Anshu.
