When children misbehave or do something wrong such tantrums make parents angry and in that anger
they beat the children or scold them very harshly. Sometimes they are seen doing this even outside the
house, in public places. This is a very wrong way to deal with children’s tantrums.
Side Effects of Beating
According to research, scientists have said that beating children in this way has a bad effect on the mental
health of children. Its negative impact on mental development is such that children are often very stressed, and this stress gradually increases and sometimes converts into depression. The capability of deciding something in such children also does not develop. Similarly, by beating children, the trust relationship that should be formed between children and parents also does not form.
What should you do instead?
In this blog on parenting by Anshu we will learn how parents can discipline their children without beating them. How to deal with children’s tantrums effectively.
What Should Parents Do?
It is often seen that parents who beat their children do not have control over their anger. And they get so
angry seeing their children’s mischief, tantrums or any wrongdoing that they beat them without understanding what effect beating will have on the children. Often such parents are those who themselves have been beaten in childhood and they think that beating is okay.
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Control Anger
In such a situation, what should you do, parents? You should know how to control your emotions. You
are upset due to some reason and in that trouble when the children throw tantrums, do something wrong
or argue with you, then you are unable to control your emotions and you become so hyper that you beat the children. At that time you do not think about the effect it will have on the children. Find a solution to
the problem you are facing and work on it.
Share Your Problem with the Children
Now if there is such a situation, you are upset and the children are doing something naughty which is
irritating you, then if you control your emotions and sit with those children and share your problem with
them that I am feeling like this at this time, I have this problem, then I am sure that the children will
definitely understand this and they will definitely stop their mischief, their wrongdoing. Children are also
mature and they understand emotions.
You just have to understand how to converse with them. If you show your irritation, they will not
understand, they will not have any connection with it. But if you tell your problem and tell them that you
are upset because of that problem, the children will be able to relate to that thing and will understand it.
Listen to the Children’s Ideas As Well and Accept Them
Sometimes it is very surprising that when you tell your problem to small children, they also tell you very
unique and innovative solutions. Because their world is limited, their thoughts are limited and they see
everything as right and wrong. Sometimes their solutions come in such a way that we cannot think about
it. Another advantage of this is that you connect with the children. Children also understand that when
there is a problem, we should sit together and consult and some solution also comes out of it.
If the tips given by the children are useful for you, then follow them as well. And you should also convey
to the children how much you benefited from their tips. This will connect both of you and if you hit them
at this point, it will disconnect both of you.
Do Not Turn Concern into Anger
Parents, first of all it is very important for you to control your emotions. It will not only make your
relationship with your children good but your own stress level will also decrease. Sometimes when
children are doing something risky which can make them unsafe, at that time parents sometimes hit them
out of concern. Like if the child is swinging on a swing and they turn it too fast due to which they can fall,
get hurt or start running on the road, then seeing such things there is so much concern that parents hit the children. But the child does not know why he was beaten. You should control your concern there also,
explain to him that this thing is wrong, what could have happened.
Handle The Situation Effectively
You have to learn to plan. This is an alternative technique with which you can handle any situation. Children are not studying, you have told them many times that they are not studying. Now you are getting angry, you went and beat them, will this make the children study? It is possible that they sit down to study but they will not feel like studying and what will happen the next day? There will be the same problem.
Understand why the children are not studying and explain to them what will be the benefit of studying.
