Facing rejection and losing respect in life is a harrowing situation in anyone’s life. And it worsens if there is no one to talk to. At such times it is not unusual to feel that nothing will ever work in life. Anybody who faces rejection would think like that.
Rejection happens broadly due to two reasons.
1 When a person is unsuitable.
2 When a person is incompetent
Due to any of the above reasons when a person loses regard, he/she feels hurt. If you analyse the situation you will find two situations:
1 If you have done something faulty, you will lose people’s respect. However, you might not be wrong from your point of view. If you feel you are not wrong but have a different opinion, then you should not feel insulted.
If you think that you are at fault, then accept your mistakes and try to correct them.
In such a situation, you need to remember that humans can make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes in life. We all learn from our mistakes. Hence, forgive yourself and do not feel humiliated.
2 If you are told to be unsuitable for something, you will feel ashamed, low and humiliated. At that time you think that you are undeserving and worthless.
We are always taught to be kind and respectful to others. But unfortunately, our education system does not explain the importance of self-respect and self-love. Therefore, when someone rejects us by saying we are unsuitable, we feel low and humiliated. Lack of self-identity is the primary cause of this hurt.
No one is unworthy or unsuitable on this planet. Everyone is worthy and skilled in one’s own unique way. We just need to find the right place for us.
Therefore if someone rejects you, then it is time to move on to find a befitting place for you.
A few tips to cope with the feeling of rejection:
- You should talk to your friends, guardian or someone who understands your emotions.
- Go shopping.
- Spend some time with nature.
- Watch your favourite movies.
- Do something of your choice which distracts you from your current state of mind. You may join some sports or hobby classes.
- Join a gym or take yoga classes. The exercises will help to boost your mood and you will feel rejuvenated. When you feel good, you will rationally analyse the matter.
You will realise that everyone faces rejections in life. It should be taken as a challenge and not as a failure.
Here is a story to understand how to face rejection:
Once there lived a king and queen. They had three daughters. After a few years the Princesses grew up, and when they were of marriageable age, the King was keen to know how much his daughters loved him. One day he called them and asked,
My dear daughters, as you will be married off in a few years and go away from here so I wish to know how much you love me.
The eldest princess said, father, I love you so much that I can sacrifice many palaces for you.
The king was pleased to know that. And then he asked the same question of his second daughter.
The second princess said that she loved the king so much that she could sacrifice many states for him. The King was again thrilled by the answer, and he felt proud of his daughters.
When the third princess was asked, she replied,
Father, my love for you is like salt in daal.
The king was shocked by this reply and became furious with his daughter. He felt offended, and he immediately banished his daughter from the state.
The Princess was shocked and devastated at the behaviour of his father. She was sad that her parents did not understand her.
The Princess was wise and skilled in different arts. So she went to meet the prince of another state and narrated her whole story. Upon listening to the story, the Prince became sympathetic toward the princess. He was also attracted by her beauty and talent and proposed to her for marriage. The Princess was also impressed by the humility of the prince and agreed to marry him.
With all the pomp and show the marriage ceremony was performed. Although the Princess was happy, but been rejected by her parents deeply hurt her. She missed her parents and wished to prove that she genuinely loved her parents.
After one year when she was blessed with a son. The Princess decided to celebrate the occasion. She invited all the kings and queens from the nearby States and arranged a Gala dinner for guests.
The guests were astonished to see the beautiful arrangement of the celebration. There was a unique seating arrangement for the guests. Every guest was assigned a separate table and a team of assistants. Everyone was served gourmet food.
The princess’s parents were also invited though they did not know that the invitation was from her daughter. The princess looked at her parents when they were served delicious food.
The king noticed that on the other tables, different meals were served, but he was served only a variety of daal. He was surprised by such an arrangement.
When he started eating, he noticed that none of the preparation had salt in them. The recipes were tastefully prepared, but without salt in them, the king couldn’t eat even a single portion. He felt humiliated. He saw other kings enjoying their food a lot. He was so frustrated that he did not notice that the host princess was approaching his table. When the princess came closer, he recognized that it was his daughter. The king was astonished to see her there.
The Princess introduced herself as the princess of the state. Upon listening to her story, the king felt guilty about his attitude toward her, though, he was pleased to see her and her status.
After giving her blessings, the king asked the reason for serving him the food without salt.
Princess smiled and said,
‘Father, all the food has been cooked nicely, but without salt they are distasteful. Because salt is necessary for taste, it is unavoidable. Do you agree?’
‘Yes, I agree, daughter!
‘Father, you banished me from your house and kingdom when I said I love you like salt in daal. You did not try to understand what I meant. My answer was sincere. You cannot eat food without salt in it. You are like salt in my life.’
The king felt guilty and apologised to her daughter.
After that everyone lived happily together.
The takeaway from this story is:
When someone rejects you in life, you should not feel dejected. At that time you should remember that you do not need other people’s certification of your potential. You need to judge yourself and take the appropriate action as the princess had taken. Although she was badly hurt when her father abandoned her, she did not lose her confidence. She impressed the prince with her charm and talent.
Then she did not take revenge on her father but made her realise his mistake without humiliating him.
Likewise, you should always believe in your skills and knowledge. It might be that you are not fit for one thing, but very well suited for other things.
Be human with yourself as you are with others.
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