How to understand that your husband does not value you? There are several signs that signals a dearth of
value from his side towards you. For example, If he is not interested in your words, your opinion and your
interests, or he does not pay attention or disrespects you publicly, or makes fun of you. There are other
signs too. Such as, if any important events of yours happen and he does not consider it necessary to
celebrate it, or he is not interested in your goals, these things show that in the eyes of your husband your
value is not as much as it should be.
In such a situation it is quite natural to have an identity crisis, and gradually this frustration of yours will
increase and your self esteem will go down. What you should do in such a situation. In this blog we will
talk about something different. And it’s about the relationship between partners. But before that
if you haven’t subscribed to my blogs yet, do it now and get useful life hacks regularly.
Here are Tips to Make Your Life Partner Value You.
Break the Inferiority Complex
It’s natural that every person wants to be valued, heard, understood, and supported but when this doesn’t
happen then it converts into frustration. The most important thing is that you should value yourself. It is
said that when you don’t value yourself then how will others value you. We can understand this with an
example.
Many of you must have seen the movie ‘English Vinglish’. The story revolves around a lady’s effort for her
entire family. Which meant she did all the household chores, took every responsibility, took care of
everyone, but in return she had no value in the house. The apparent reason is she didn’t know English.
Everyone undervalued her, even her kids and her husband too.
One of her hobbies was cooking and she was really good at it. So she started making laddoos and
supplying those to people. People praised her skills but she was very frustrated because she wasn’t getting respect for herself at home. For this, she even complained but found no solution. In the course of story she got an opportunity to go to USA to attend her sister’s wedding. There she got an opportunity to do an English speaking course, which she joined without the knowledge of her family. When she went to do the course, she met people from many countries who became her friends and valued and respected her a lot.
There she started to recognize her identity and then her teacher told her that the work she was doing of
making laddoos is a kind of business and such people are called entrepreneurs.
The day she came to know about this, her opinion about herself changed completely. She learned to
respect herself and started to consider herself valuable.. She came back and delivered a speech publicly in
English which made her family understand how valuable she is and everyone accepted her the way she
wanted.
Moral of the Story…
So how do all these changes happen? when she recognized her value, when she improved her skills. She
was getting frustrated because she did not know that the work she is doing is very valuable and if there is
some recognition for it. Something like this may happen with you too that you may not even recognize
yourself, you do not even know what capability you have inside you. First of all you need to know what
skills you have. You can become a better version of yourself by improving your skills. If you want to be
valued by someone, you cannot snatch it, you cannot get it by requesting. You can get it convincingly by
proving your skills and your values. So you need to understand that whatever the things are positive and
good inside you you should appreciate them yourself first.
Value Yourself
It is not like that your value lies in your qualification or a job, you are a homemaker and that’s a very big
skill. You keep the family together, you take care of everyone, these are also skills but you don’t recognize it because you too are taking it for granted. Try to upskill yourself in the chores you are doing regularly. Everyone should continue to create a better version of themselves throughout their life.
The second point is to improve your communication skills. Because many times the problems occur due to not talking to each other properly. It often happens that whatever your husband has said, you took it in
the wrong way. Suppose he has some problem of his own which he doesn’t share with you, it may be
something related to his work, and that’s the main reason for his bad behavior towards you that you are
seeing. Try to understand that communication means you only say your point but also listen to what the
other person says. Try to understand if there is any other reason for his behavior. If you listen and try to
understand your husband’s problems he will value you because of that.
Responsibility has to be shared. Sit together and discuss what will be each other’s share in responsibilities.
When your family grows and kids come it is the responsibility of both of you. Don’t indulge in the
practice that if he doesn’t do it you will cover. If you do his tasks this means that your own time and
efforts have no value.
Make yourself independent but stay connected. Your own life should be separate. It means in your friend
circle, family, you should have relations with everyone at your own level. You should have your own
identity in that circle. It should not happen that you make only the identity of a relationship and that
people should know you by your name. Here, being independent is being talked about and respected.
You need to do self reflection i.e. you need to understand yourself whether you really like yourself. And
when you do self reflection you go deep inside yourself. If you understand your personality, you will see
that actually you are critical of yourself for some things, which means you dislike some of your things.
When you realize such things yourself, you will want to remove them. When you remove them, you will
see that you have actually become your own favorite. So, definitely pay attention to this.
Pay attention to what feedback you have received from people and in which areas you need to improve.
Suppose you mostly remain very composed but you laugh and talk less and people feel that if you laugh a little more they will like your company more, so you can improve it.
Final Words
So the crux of this Blog is that when you think about yourself more, think of improving yourself and
prove yourself valuable. Only then your husband will understand your value. You should focus on which
skills you need to improve, what are those negative things you need to distance yourself and become a
better version of yourself.
