‘Mum is the best (NO conditions applied). I have heard so often people saying that their mum is the best in the world. That is true; mum is always the best in the world (and therefore no conditions are applied to her).
But why does this theory not relevant for their children, their better half, their sisters or brothers, their father or anyone else?
Barring a few people the statements like ‘my better half is the best, ‘my child is the best, ‘my brother or sister is the best in the world’ lack authenticity. Everyone says this without realizing the fact that plenty of conditions imply in their statements.
To understand the reason why ‘Mum is the best is the only statement which is true to its meaning while the rest of them might not be, we have the following explanation.
1. The mother is the first lady in everyone’s life. The children, who are fortunate, are brought up by their mothers. The greatness of love and care that a mother bestows on her children, no one else can replace. We like our mothers so much that we accept her as she is. We usually do not wish our mother to be like somebody else’s mother. We are happy to have her the way she is.
2. It is a surprising fact that the children accept her with her flaws, her shortcomings, her appearance, her way of thinking, her qualifications etc but the flip side is not alike. So if the mum says my child is the best in the world, it may not always mean the same
In all other relationships, we apply ample conditions. We need to examine why this happens.
- We generally, observe that parents force their children to walk on the same path that they have built. Sometimes parents compel their children to fulfil their dreams without knowing what children want. There are several instances where children have no freedom to marry the person they want to.
- Many girls are not allowed to take up the career of their choice.
As a result, the children feel stressed out to live up to the level of their parent’s expectations. The above situation would not be so if the parents accept their children with their flaws, shortcomings, disqualifications etc.
The statement ‘my child is the best will be true only when parents let their children bloom the way they want to.
The same theory applies to married couples. The couples welcome their partners but not their freedom of thinking and actions. They meet with their preconceived notions and perceptions, and therefore they try to change each other. It creates stress between both. However, if the couple understands and accepts the partner as he/she is, the relationship between them would always be cordial.
Acceptance does not mean that we should not encourage people to improve in their lives. It just means first to accept the person as he/she is and then try to improvise and encourage him/ her without offending his/her feelings.
We find there is an increasing number of divorces, breakups, children’s frustrations, and depression happening in general. The primary cause of all these unpleasant things is non-acceptance among people.
We need to realise the fact that no two persons are similar. Diversity is the main essence of Nature. We need to respect the diversities and differences in thinking and opinions.
We should let everyone decide their own path with their flaws and shortcomings.
Acceptance needs to be understood:
- Acceptance does not mean letting people continue to live with their faults and shortcomings, and we should not encourage them to improve in their lives. It does not say that parents allow their children to spoil their future and become careless and lazy.
- It means understanding the person by their perspectives.
- If the perception seems to be unethical, careless, insincere, with no motivation, then he/she should be encouraged with compassion and empathy without offending their feelings.
Why the acceptance has a significant role in life?
We meet people with our preconceived notions about right and wrong, and as such, we form our opinions about things even before having enough information on them. Everyone believes themselves to be right always, so they do not remain forthcoming to explore other possible options of things and situations. They consider the alternative options to be wrong because they are different from their point of view.
The consequences of such thinking lead to the increasing number of divorces, breakups, children’s frustrations, depression happening in general. The primary cause of all these unpleasant things is non-acceptance among people.
We need to realise the fact that no two persons are similar. Diversity is the main essence of Nature. We need to respect the diversities and differences in thinking and developing opinions.
We must let everyone be his/her way with the flaws and shortcomings.
People who are open to listening to new thoughts never take wrong decisions.
The importance of acceptance in life plays a vital role in building long-lasting trustworthy and caring relations. As a child accepts his/her mother, we must learn to develop every association with no conditions applied.
‘My spouse is the best( no conditions applied)
It will lead to happy families when no more divorces, breakups, day to day fights, and stresses happen in the families.
‘My child is the best (no conditions applied)
This approach will lead to the healthy growth of children, freedom to choose a career, and freedom to choose a life partner resulting in strong bonding between parents and children.