What should you do if you feel lonely?

friends counselling


Sometimes people feel isolated even though staying with other people. They overly need people around them all the time; still, they feel cut off, disconnected and isolated from others.

Here are a few things you need to take care of when you are feeling lonely or in social isolation.

Humans are social by nature. They live in the company of family, friends, communities and work organisations. However, there are moments when people want their privacy and a little time for themselves. So they need to stay alone for a while to experience a positive, pleasurable and emotionally refreshing time. Being alone is a state where people sometimes spend secluded from other people, and this is their conscious choice.

However, sometimes people feel isolated even though staying with other people. They overly need people around them all the time; still, they feel cut off, disconnected and isolated from others. They do not have any meaningful human contact, and therefore they feel empty and hollow from the inside. Such an emotional state of mind is called loneliness, which makes people insecure, anxious and sometimes depressed.

Lonely people need the company of other people only out of fear of being alone. A counsellor always knows that a relationship that is based on fear remains unhappy and unfulfilling.

Lonely people are not comfortable in their own company; they continuously find themselves isolated. They cannot build deep levels of affinity with others. Unknowingly, they even stop themselves from being good performers.

Reasons for being lonely:

1. Loneliness can occur due to sudden death or the extended absence of a loved one.

2. Loneliness is a response to a divorce or breakup of any long-term relationship. In such circumstances, loneliness happens due to the loss of a specific person. It also happens due to the withdrawal from society.

3 Married couples also feel lonely when there is a lack of a loving relationship or communication between the couple.

4 Some people have a fear of being alone as they believe that their family might abandon them at some point in life.

5 Fear of being alone is also associated with a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. People with low self-esteem do not feel connected with others. They have a strong feeling that people do not like them, and that they are a burden to others.

6 People fear being alone due to medical conditions, carrying out day-to-day activities, and safety issues in old age.

7 Loneliness can also occur due to the belief that we cannot enjoy ourselves alone. A person may never have a chance to live alone and enjoy private moments and the comfort of being alone. Because of the fear of being alone, people have never attempted to enjoy their company of them, and they always want people with them. However, if they try to experience being abandoned and then start enjoying the feeling of Independence, they become very confident.

How to overcome loneliness:

1. There are many advantages to overcoming the fear of loneliness. When you are alone, you have time to think calmly, and there is a particular kind of peace you can experience. Time spent alone is sometimes can even more enjoyable than time spent with others. So, one thing to remember is that being alone does not mean Being Lonely.

2. People who have good relations with people do not feel lonely. If a person listens patiently and helps others, do not suffer lonely. So the person who does not maintain good relations suffers later.

3. In old age, people feel alone as they start feeling that they are worthless because usually, they do not continue to work after retirement. Therefore, after getting a retirement, they should keep some personal work. It will help them feel worthy and confident. The work can be social service, some teaching to society or related to any other skill of choice. They can meet new people by continuing some job. If a person’s presence is helpful to other people in any way, he/she will be wanted everywhere.

4. Therefore, each one should always explore new options in life. Take an example of actor Amitabh Bachchan, who is working despite his illness. Loneliness at any age can be handled by making ourselves wanted by others and not making ourselves dependent.

5. Relaxation techniques like breathing exercises, muscle relaxation, guided meditation and soothing self-talks are a few tools to deal with loneliness.

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