Have you ever been surprised that sometimes people misunderstand your statements? You did not intend to hurt them, but they got hurt.
Or at times, someone else’s comment may have hurt you. Does this conclude that they must be working against you for some reason? No, they are not working against you rather you do not understand their intentions.
Often, when we communicate with others, our messages are misunderstood. We say something, and the other person hears something else, and that stirs up misunderstanding, frustration, and conflict. It can cause problems in relationships at home, school and work.
Sometimes, People spend their whole life with misconceptions about others. Sometimes their feelings have very deep roots which lead to personality disorders.
Even when living with family, sometimes people feel lonely because no one understands them. Also, sometimes, small children have to face a lot of problems in the house. Some people in the family also send wrong messages.
Eg. If there is a dispute between husband and wife, then telling those things to the children would have a negative effect on the children.
Hence such conversations should be avoided at home and replaced with healthy communication. This doesn’t mean that everyone has to agree with each other and never argue. It means that discussions must be on but to be done in a healthy way.
Nowadays people pass statements not only face to face, but also on social media. They use an inappropriate language called trolling. All these actions reflect our negative attitude towards life. It is not unfair to speak out against certain matters, but it is important to know how to say it.
An intelligent speaker raises his demands, criticizes and debates some issues, but states everything in such a way that the recipient gets the message successfully without any negativity.
So, many of us need to learn a few important skills to communicate more clearly and effectively. Whether you are trying to improve communication with your spouse, kids, boss, or coworkers, learning these skills can help you deepen your relationships with others. You may gain more trust and respect which will improve overall social and emotional relationships.
Therefore, to improve your speaking skills, you must remember the following tips.
1 Be brief and direct. –
If you have something important and interesting to say, then explaining it in a few words can be an effective way. If you try to give too many details or talk too long, people are likely to lose interest. Try to think of ways to summarize what you want to say before you say it.
When you have knowledge about something, you will be able to explain it in brief.
So, a direct and polite request is more effective, than explaining it in detail.
Clear and direct communication can help you communicate more effectively with all types of relationships.
2 Body language should be friendly, helpful, intelligent and gentle.
When you are conversing with someone, you should pay attention to your body language, so that it matches the words you say. The words you say become more effective if the body language is effective. Pay attention on your facial expression and gesture. You should smile where required and show your interest in speaking with the person.
There should be warmth and kindness in your tone. You should never make fun of others and never sound arrogant.
3 Share your feelings instead of blaming others
Sometimes when you get tired of work and responsibilities, you expect assistance from others. And when you do not get a proper response then you start blaming them because of frustration.
This creates confusion, misunderstanding and confrontation between you and the people. Nobody likes to be blamed and when confronted people either get defensive or blame in return.
Expressing how you feel is a helpful way for effective communication when you are hurt. Sharing your feelings helps you express how you feel towards someone without blaming the other person. It focuses on your feelings and experience rather than the other person’s.
Your point also gets shared and no one feels bad. People understand you and are ready to help you.
4 Be Calm and confident
Last but not least, you must feel confident while speaking to someone. Your calm and confident gesture attracts everyone. People have trust in you when they see you relaxed. So you should be real while communicating with others.