Parents!

Are you missing out on this essential parenting tip- facing failure?

Have you ever thought of preparing your children to face failures in life?

 If your answer is ‘Never,’ then,

Do you know that educating the children on how to face failures is more essential than encouraging the children to achieve success?

Being a parent, we spend a lot of time teaching children how to get success and instruct the children to work hard to achieve goals.  Parents explain to them the importance of success in life, which is fine and which should be taught but equally important is that the children should learn how to face failures because it is a fact of life. No one can always get a victory. But we forget this reality.

Sometimes we read Newspapers and Magazines that some particular children have established themselves as successful individuals, even after living in all odd circumstances. At the same time, there are some children, who, despite having everything, are broken even when faced with little difficulties.

Why does this happen?

Usually, the guardians, teachers and society altogether put invisible stress on the children. The demand for being excellent both in studies and curricular activities in school is stressful for children.

As the child reaches higher classes (above 8th standard), the stress increases in the form of his/her career planning. By this stage, the child grows with a mindset that achieving success is his/her motto in life. He considers failing an act of shame.  Therefore, even the thought of failing is not acceptable to him/her.  The belief is so deep established in his mind that facing a real failure tears him apart. The child feels so frustrated that sometimes gets into depression.

To make the children emotionally strong to face rejections and failures in life, parents need to be aware of a few things.

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Here are some parenting tips to prepare your child for the failures in life. 

1. Accept the failure as you accept the success:

Sometimes things go okay, but sometimes they do not.  Failing at a task means you made inadequate and incorrect efforts. If you accept your failure, you are going to make the task right and adequate actions next time.

Hence, parents ought to explain the differences between success and failure to their children.

“Failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something.”   

– Morihei Ueshiba 

 

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” 

 – Colin Powell

 

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”   

– Henry Ford

 

2. Show by examples:

We have many stories where people fail in their efforts and then through hard work and better strategies get success in life. But we forget to share such stories with the children. Parents should share stories with children, and they can also share some real events that happened in the family before. The children will relate those experiences with them. This is a good way of learning.

3. Parents must encourage children to perform their tasks all by themselves.

The role of the parents is to be a support and guide to their children. Completing the tasks all by themselves develops a feeling of self-reliance and self-belief. They start believing that they can finish any work by themselves.

For example when a child starts walking on his feet, and he/she falls sometimes. The child looks to the guardians to help him. At that time parents must support the child to stand up again by his effort. This kind of training develops the trait of self-reliance in the children.

Sometimes when the children get project work, parents come forward to help them complete the same. This help of parents suppresses the creativity of children.

Overprotection and too much guidance must be avoided. Ready-made solutions in studies or other activities will make the children lazy.

Parents must know their limits to support their children.

4. When the child has failed in his endeavours, let him or her experience the emotions of being disappointed.

The children need their parent’s unconditional love and support. The parent’s role is to be supportive and be around the children at that time. Let the children take some time to understand what exactly happened to them. Then help them to analyse the reason for the failure.

Parents’ guidance is useful only when they accept their children as they are and they love and support the children unconditionally.

If despite the best efforts done by the parents to support the children to come out of their disappointments if the parents find their children to be still suffering from disappointments then the parents must take their children to a professional therapist.

The counsellor can guide the children on how to stop ruminating over failure. The counsellor will guide the children to understand the cause of their worries and will also guide them on how to reframe the negative thought patterns into positive ones.

Such guidance is necessary for the upbringing of every child so that he/she becomes emotionally strong to face many struggles in life.

 

Summary at a glance:

1. Accept the failure as you accept the success:

2. Show by examples:

3. Parents must encourage children to perform their tasks all by themselves.

4. When the child has failed in his endeavours, let him or her experience the emotions of being disappointed.

Keep in mind that every child is different. Therefore, every parent has to deal with their children differently. However, these parenting tips may help you mould your child your way and plan the strategy for teaching acceptance of both success and failure whichever is confronted.