Chapter 01 – How to stop being Self Critical

Self-criticism is a tendency in which people view themselves as negative and pessimistic. Once an event turns unfavourable to them, they think that they will always be in the same position. So such people are said to be self-critical and this tendency is called self-criticism.
If you want to understand its root cause, you will see that many times this tendency with people depends on how they were brought up in their childhood. Sometimes some parents are authoritarian and always notice their children’s mistakes and point out their mistakes over and over again. There is no warmth in their upbringing, not so much kindness. And when things are shared with kids over and over again, they start to believe that they can’t fix anything.
Not only parents, other family members, teachers or friends can also contribute to cause such behaviour of children.
Due to the tendency toward self-criticism, people are always under stress about something or the other. Their self-confidence is so low that they are not able to take much risk to do any work. They don’t put much effort and their inner potential and skills don’t come out completely.


1. You see things in black or white categories, with no middle ground. For example, If I do not achieve perfection, I am a complete failure.
2. You over-generalize a single negative experience and expect it to be true forever, for example, if you made a mistake once, and now believe you can't do anything right forever.
3. You focus on all the things that went wrong, not all the things that went right.
4. You refrain from expressing your opinion and do not feel confident in expressing your feelings.


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